How to Step on a Bee

With the heat so God-awful unbearable, I stayed off the bike today and instead consumed hydrocarbon-based fuels and took myself up to a rifle range I recently joined for some sweaty target practice this afternoon. Over the weekend, I purchased a scope for .22 rifle and installed that last night when I got home (no - I have no idea what I am doing here, more on that later...) so I was eager to test it out.

It was hotter than hell today, so I was wearing shorts, a breezy overpriced Ex Officio fishing shirt and Chaco sandals (my absolute favorite footwear for really hot weather. I figured I was appropriately attired for a muggy afternoon of shootin' stuff, but sadly, I was wrong.

I arrived at the range and let myself in, wrestled my gear out of the truck and headed to the 50 yard range. I set up shop, arranging my ammunition and uncasing the rifle, setting up my spotting scope and getting a few sand bags for my bench.

Once I had made a comfortable nest at my bench, I went to hang my target. I made it only about 10 steps when I felt a sharp pain in my foot, right in the meaty part where the toes join the foot. I thought at first that I had sucked a stick up in my Chaco sandal and gave a kick to get it out, but the pain got much worse, so I stopped to see what the problem was. As I bent down to see what was up, a big bug flew out from my sandal.

I had apparently scooped up a bee on some clover into my sandal and pinched him between my foot and the sandal footbed. He stung me. I can't blame him - I would have done the same in this case. It hurt like blazes for about a minute. I hobbled back to the bench and thought thoughts about anaphylactic shock, wondered what the address of the range was, wondered how the EMTs would get the heavy duty gate I locked behind me and otherwise contemplated my decisions.

Fortunately, within 5 minutes the pain was gone, I could still breathe and I was happily plinking away. No swelling, no soreness and no problems. I doubt the bee faired as well as I did in that encounter, though.

How'd I do? The scope was an absolute disaster - I need to get that professionally installed and bore-sighted before I try again. On the other hand, my performance on the 25-yard pistol range was better than ever, and I am even contemplating league competition in the future.

New rule, however: no open-toed shoes on the range from now on.