Our society imposes subtle, but real, discrimination on married people that don't have children. We don't have kids. We are not going to have kids. And both my spouse and I are entirely cool with that. Rest assured that we are just fine. No sympathy or intervention required (nor tolerated, for that matter). We love our lives and we are happy, and don't need to add kids to the equation for any reason. That's just where we are - it's not a value statement, so don't get all worked up about it.
I can't tell you how many times I have been asked by clients or colleagues at social functions or dinners: "do you have a family?". WTF? Of course I have a damn family. I have a Father, a Mother, a brother and not one but TWO sisters. I have tons of cousins/aunts/uncles/nieces/nephews and even a grand parent. And I have a metric boatload of in-laws to match that.
What kind of question is that? I'll tell what kind of question that is - it's leading question. What they mean is not "Do you have a family?", what they actually mean is "Do have children?".
Inevitably, people that ask this question do have children, and they want to talk about them. I used to simply say "No" in response to The Question. That was a mistake I chalk up to youth and inexperience. It almost always resulted in an awkward pause and change of subject. Sometimes I would toy with the idea of adding that I've had a great career, or that we just forgot to have kids (Kids? Damnit! I knew I was I forgetting something). As I got more tired of this questions, I tried on the idea of answering "No - one day Thor dropped his hammer to earth and I sprang from the crater fully grown with the ability to throw lighting bolts", but I have not done that either.
Now that I am older and wiser, I simply say "no - do you? Tell me about them!" and the conversation goes smoothly on. And I have to sit there and listen to them tell me about their kids.
Today I stopped at Target to pick up something for dinner. I thought chicken sounded good, so I browsed the Target chicken offerings. I was quickly confronted with another example of Childism. Target's chicken offerings include only sad, single boneless, skinless breasts (clearly packaged for sad, single people) or HUGE freaking Family packs of drumsticks, whole cut-up chickens, or 4 breasts all packed together. Not a single package of two breasts, four thighs, or anything else that would be about right for two adults. Not one.
- sigh -
We had leftovers at our house tonight.