Unintended Consequences

Bicycle license plate
Originally uploaded by Minnesota Historical Society

I realized today that my migration to bicycle and transit commuting has resulted in an unintended consequence: I can no longer tolerate driving in rush hour traffic.

I had a late afternoon meeting today in Golden Valley. The meeting was productive and I was in a good mood when I left at about 5:00. I eased onto I-394, waited at a metered ramp, slowed and merged again around Highway 100, and then came to a complete standstill in the lane that goes to I-94 east, trying to get back to the safety and serenity of So. MPLS.

I-394 was a frigging parking lot. I got more and more wound up as I inched along until I finally said "Bucket!" (except the "B" was actually an "F"), and exited on Dunwoody, thinking I could meander south and east on City streets.

Bad idea, SS. I got swept into Hennepin Ave. at rush hour and crawled along for another 15 minutes or so until I could finally turn east on 28th and get out of that seething mass of humanity. To be clear, pedestrians were keeping pace with me and the fortunate few on bikes were essentially wrinkling time as they whooshed by. Buck! (remember, "B" is "F" for this post).

Apparently, I have lost any ability to deal with traffic jams. The bus might be a little poky, but I can at least read while we inch along, so the time passes productively. The bike lets me bypass the whole mess at my usual pace and gives me a little exercise to boot. Plus, it improves my naturally gloomy demeanor.

By the time I got home, I was frothing at the mouth, honking my horn at others and inventing new and exciting swear words.

I need to go lay down now.